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My Blonde-Haired Nigerian

This idiot contacted me from Yahoo Personals – of course I knew it was a scam the whole time. In her profile, if it says, “any age” or has a range like 25 to 60, you know it’s a scam. Don’t bother reading her long and tedious email – obviously prewritten, copied, and pasted. The chat log at the end was a classic brush off… My emails are in blue, his/hers are in black, my comments in red. Happy reading!

Hello Dear,

My full name is Linda Thomas
I am 30yrs Old,some few month 3th of Jan, I am Aries in Horoscope, I am 130lbs, 5"7ft
I am honest, caring, understanding, loyal, intelligent, romantic, lovely, obedient,respectful,passionate,Open minded never married or divorced with any man since when i was born in my life, I dont have kids, I will be so happy if i could find the right man to settle down with and work harder with him to plans life , love and have kids together as Outstanding Father, and be a Good Future Husband and wife for the rest of Our life together with love, peace and harmony in lovely and peaceful Home...........

I will like to tell you ..That i just finish my school,I study Sales an marketing.... I try to take care of my self and keep healthy .I like doing alot of things right here for fun, when i am less busy at home or have no assignment from school , I like going to beaches, haggout with my best friends, listen to different kind of nice and cool musics, such as R&B, Hip Hop, Jazz, Blues, Etc, Like watching movies , Comedy, Drama, Action movies at home or cinemas house, like going to swimming pools, Dancing, cooking...I Like Kissing, Cuddling,Huggs, Sex ,cuz i realise and believe that sex is so much important and necessary in relationship withing man and woman it keep the relationship more stronger and solid in hearts of 2couples man and woman, beside sex is like a fun of life ,I think being sexual is a giant part of a relationship. Knowing each other is knowing each others wants and needs but most be well sure to get yourself protected and safe not to contact any sexuall transmission deasease such as HIV/AIDS, reading Novels, like to play with kids as well cuz they keep me away from not to be alone, lonely, and bored right here sometimes, Etc. I am Originall from US, I"m presently living With my mother in Nigeria since when i was 4Yrs Old, About 25Yrs ago my father died in a Plane Crashed when Travelling to Holland together with some of collagues at Work, his death lead to our way to relocate back to Nigeria together with my mother cuz most things went so hard and difficult for me and my mother after the death of my late father, he is an auto mechanic he died on his way travelling to meet his client on contract bases, around 8:44am early tuesday morning, I really missed him so much in my Life..........my father is originall from US while my mother is from Nigeria I am living together with my mother in a room rented.could u imagine that i was not told then when my father died in an auto accident, my mother keep this secret till when i was 18yrs old of age, when i asked her why she didnt told me about my fathers death since all this years back, she said this was beyound what she can told me, moreover she realise how i really love my father so she thought of not to let me know then , cuz she thank that anything can happened to me if i was told that my father died, i can get fainted and this can lead to another death from me that is the reason why i was not told when my father died about some years ago....i was shocked and scream alot , cried when i was told but nothing i could do than to keep heart and always pray for him to rest in Peace of God......

I’m searching for my life long partner to share a Great Life of Love with; romance, long slow kisses, feeling very special, intimacy, spirituality, pleasurable communication, dancing, meeting of the minds, opening a door for you, flowers, traveling and other exciting interests and adventures, A GREAT LIFE of LOVE! I am one who strongly believes in respect and that without respect, you can’t experience true love and generate a healthy relationship. I believe in a smaller “wow” when it is first a friendship and then a larger “Wow” later as it evolves into a Beautiful Loving committed relationship. I believe it’s not just what you are like on the outside, but more about what you are like on the inside. I’m seeking friendship first, (no game playing please) with someone who appreciates some of the same temperaments and interests I enjoy.That special someone is a man with integrity, is spiritually compatible with me, having similar beliefs - New Age and is responsible, intelligent, has a sense of humour, positive, is clean and neat in habit and appearance, romantic, passionate about living and loving. I would prefer that someone to show interest and be supportive of my spiritual work. He should be well responsible , and has 'been there, done that'.I like an adventurous person who likes travel, nature and enjoys being home. He is a man who is at peace with himself.. I am hoping to connect with people of like minds to form friendship first and then leave the rest to God to see what comes out of the friendship .I'm just a regular lady who is trying to get eternal life and who's waiting for Jesus to return. I'm not a materialistic individual or vain. I respect this world as I know it, realizing that I'm called to be a citizen in the kingdom to come. I'm not a religious individual or anything like that, I'm just trying to gain eterlal life. I don't go to church or anything like that, I just follow Christ.. I understand that ones possessions do not determine the individual. So I don't seek someone because they have niether do I avoid someone because they don't have. I'm just seeking someone who beleives in unity, co-operation, truth, love, dedication, partenership, trust (not in me but in God). Someone who knows love and is able to recognize it when it's present. Someone who is not caught up in beleiveing that they exist only to be entertained, and won't see me as a "source of entertainment". I guess basicly,someone who truly lives for God. Everything else after that is cool. I am simple lady that enjoys living and having fun. It is great to be alive, so many things life offers to experience and be a part of. I want to find a simple man that can smile about life because he too sees all the great things about life. I want to find somone to build an everlasting friendship with, one we'll both value until our end....

So if you think smiling and living life too...I am very outgoing and spontaneous like to have fun and travel alot. I like to cook but also like fine dining. the rest you will have to ask maybe its you!Do you Mind My age? How Old are you?? Do you Mind the Distance between us?? what do you have to Offer when you meet someone that is serious in a relationship as You?? What is Your Full Name?? what state and City are you Presently Now?? why are you still single, what are your short and Your Long term Goals??? what Kind of a woman are you really Looking for?? How Life has been Treating you without having a woman in your life???, Well I Think i have asked alot Questions, I will Like to stop here for now and i will be looking forward to read back from you... Let me Know what you think about this and do you think We Could start from here.... I Believe God Knows what Right for Us..Hope to read back from you soon.

Linda

Yes, my freaking eyes are bleeding...

I just finished reading your scripted email and once I go take a couple of aspirin, I will respond. To answer your poorly written and rather long and tedious email, I just don't know if we are a good match. After all, you live in Africa and I live in the United States. Also, most of the things you wrote down as your interests, I have no interest in or I completely abhor. I am an atheist, I hate music and dancing, don't care about sex, I am not looking to get married anytime soon, I am not too fond of anything that comes from your continent, I am a devout member of the Aryan Brotherhood, I favor lynching and car-dragging, I don't like watermelon or fried chicken, I shower daily - not monthly, I am well educated, I don't like to travel (way too many minorities out there), I am really more of a home body where I cap any minority trespassers who happen to set foot on my lawn. Let me know what you think about my shortcomings.

Here is my info;

Greg Wilson
Age -40
Live in Medina, Ohio
I am not married and have no kids

Talk to you later,

Greg

Hello Greg's

How are You doing?? Thanks for getting back to me and sorry for the late reply, I am looking for the last chapter of my life to begin. ."HAPPILY EVER AFTER! " I am a true champion and believer in true love, and am tired of serial dating with people who think they know what they want.. I have a great passion for living life in the NOW, no regrets, my life has a destiny and I am along for the ride. I am looking for someone to compliment me. Secure and confident, funny and romantic! I see the best in people and I want the best! Sense of humor is a must. I love to laugh. I love theater, movies, singing, and just being real. I hope that when my life is over, that I will have made the world just a little kinder and gentler place.. One of life's lessons: Time is precious. When I hear, “Let’s take it slow”, I want to scream. The problem with taking it slow at this stag of life, is we’ll be dead and buried by the time it will be RIGHT to act on the cosmic time line... I don't want to waste yours or my own time, so be who you say you are. I'm extremely affectionate, romantic and have a good, although quirky sense of humor. I believe in order to get % you have to give %. I'm ready. Are you? I want to meet a man of integrity and character. Of ROMANCE, and a sense of humor. I love to laugh. Surprise me, study me, watch me when I don't know you’re looking. The day you’re not thrilled that I am yours, and vice versa, is the day it is over. Try to love me for all that I am, not for what you wish I could be.. Envy the old couple who walks by you still holding hands, and please be a good kisser. I am. I love fireplaces, cold Fall sunny days where you wear that great sweater and smell burning leaves. I love holiday shopping .I do Love all Outdoors.What you are looking for in a relationship?I am tired of people candy; seeking a man of substance (I don't want body by Fisher, brains by Mattel); I am looking for a physically and facially striking man, classy with an air of sophistication; affectionate and passionate to a fault; interested in good conversation, the Arts, could care less about spectator sports; If you have the ability to maintain and invest in a loving and ongoing relationship, then I promise you the ride of a lifetime. I am seeking a male, the missing one that I have seeked all of my life. I know you do exist. You will have the following attributes: Nice, caring, kind, honest, good sense of humor, affectionate, loving with much passion with a beautiful smile and eyes that reveal your beautiful soul. You will love to kiss and be affectionate with me. You will be my best friend in life and my best lover... You will brighten my life and feed my soul and brighten my spirit. In return I will give you the same things out of life you seek. Making love all night to you will be my highest priority in life since you will mean so much to me. Like to take you on romantic cruises and weekend getaways so we can show our love to each other in different places. Maybe I am asking too much out of life. Do you exist A quality man who is respectfully,honest,romantic,loyal,compassionate & actually looking for a relationship where communication is vital I'm looking for a nice guy that knows how to treat a lady.. I'm looking for a man who's honest and committed. Someone who looks at a person from the inside. Ive been in many abusive relationships and am looking to get past that and hopefully never go down that road again. I just want to find that certain someone to fill this empty gap in my life I am looking for someone who can first be a friend. Someone who is honest. Someone who is not full of drama and know that we can agree to disagree and that debating is just another way of learning ones likes and dislikes, not someone that like to control the other and not too big to admit when he is wrong or have made a mistake. Not looking for a perfect man or I will never find one nor I am a perfect woman but, I strive to be the best person I can be by treating others with respect and expect the same in return Am single and simple seeking for a long term relationship with a serious man for a long term relationship.am serious,truthful,caring,loving,kind,sexy and romantic Looking Forward to hear Back From u. And i will like you to get back to me with your picture and the kids pictures too....Well i don't know about yahoo chat,but you can teach me...stay blessed

Linda

How come you haven't written me back? Did I do something wrong?

Greg

Hello Gregs,

How are you doing?Am very happy to hear back from you...I like what you wrote about yourself..

What you are looking for in a relationship?
I am tired of people candy; seeking a man of substance (I don't want body by Fisher, brains by Mattel); I am looking for a physically and facially striking man, classy with an air of sophistication; affectionate and passionate to a fault; interested in good conversation, the Arts, could care less about spectator sports; I'm not looking to be a mother at this point in time.

I'm not looking for a one night stand but a long term relationship. If you have the ability to maintain and invest in a loving and ongoing relationship, then I promise you the ride of a lifetime. I am seeking a male, the missing one that I have seeked all of my life. I know you do exist. You will have the following attributes: Nice, caring, kind, honest, good sense of humor, affectionate, loving with much passion with a beautiful smile and eyes that reveal your beautiful soul.
I will be looking forward to hear back from you ...

Linda

Hi Linda;

Sounds like you got it going on. You have some great qualities! You are truly a romantic. Well, truly something...You like a lot more things than I really care about. I like watching TV, eating, making prank phone calls, browsing on the internet, playing online fantasy/role-playing games in my underwear, watching the neighbors from between the curtains, sculpting excrement into Star Wars collectible figures, and pocket pool. I have good job as an usher at the movie theatre and once I save up enough money, I plan on moving out of my parents basement. I am not fond of singing, dancing, music, charity, giving, helping others, romance, or cuddly puppies. I think I am a real catch for the right woman, I hope you are her, cuz your melons look huge. I too, believe in the fairy tale, although yours ends happily ever after, mine usually ends up with me in jail wearing a Peter Pan outfit, with eleven counts of indecent exposure and sodomy against me.

Let me know what else you like to do.

I'll miss you,

Greg

Hello Dear,

I am Very Happy To Hear Back from You, Thanks very Much for That, I am Looking for That special man to always make me happy and make me feel safe, and I Can see That In You, I also would Like to come over there to meet you someday, But The only problem is That I Can't Afford to come over there, But lets get to know more about each other and see where it goes, I will have to stop here for now and i will be Looking forward to Hear Back From You Soonest.

Linda

She can see that I am the Special Man for her? Was it the excrement-sculpting or the Peter Pan outfit, I wonder...

Linda;

I am glad to hear from you so soon and I am glad you liked what I wrote. That shows you have taste. When I saw your email in my inbox, my pants got tight and my palms got sweaty. Is this love? I am one who strongly believes in respect and that without respect, you can’t experience true love and generate a healthy relationship. I believe in a smaller “wow” when it is first a friendship and then a larger “Wow” later as it evolves into a Beautiful Loving committed relationship. I believe it’s not just what you are like on the outside, but more about what you are like on the inside. And inside of you, I am assuming it is pink and stinky. I must say that I am a truly gifted lover - and one of these days I plan on trying it with a partner.

Let me know more about you. I am 40 years old, single, no kids. I would like to meet you sometime, but how is that going to happen with you so far away? Hold, on, gotta go rub one out...OK, i'm back.

Can't wait to hear from you again.

Greg

Hello Greg,

How are you doing?Thanks for getting back to me...Yes my mom is not mad..i already told her about you an she is even very happy..I really want to start a new life with you..

I just finish my school am not working...I will also like to ask you some questions.. I also would Like to come over there to meet you someday, But The only problem is That I Can't Afford to come over there,So can you help me out?When i get there i can work an support ourselfs...I will be looking forward to hear from you ..

Linda

Hi Linda;

It's great talking to you every day - it gives us a chance to really get to know each other. Hold on, gotta go rub one out...okay, I'm back. What did you tell your mom about me? I would love to meet her someday, although I really don't get along with adults all that well. They just don't seem to understand me like you do. Some even think I'm weird. Well, deeply disturbed is more like it. Oh well, I'm not here on this earth to impress them, am I? Do you have a passport or visa to come over here? I don't know if my mommy will let you stay here in the basement with me. I'll have to check on that.

Talk to you later,

Greg

Hello Dear,

How are You Doing? Hope you are doing Good? Thanks for getting back to me and i am very much happy for the plan of my coming over there to be with you, actually i have a passport but it has expired and i will have to renew it before i can come over there and at the same time i can't afford the money for the plane ticket, so get back to me and let me know the help you can render for my coming over there to be with you, I will be Looking forward to hear back from you soon.

Linda

Hi Linda;

It's nice to hear from you. I want you to know I am glad we are getting to know one another, and I look forward to someday in the future possibly meeting you. I asked my boss to let me work the Matinees so I can earn extra money to possibly get my own place. I talked to my mom and she said she doesn't want some foreign skank living under her roof - that was her words, not mine. I'll let you know how things are progressing. Gotta go rub one out now, talk to you later.

Greg

Hello Honey,

I Read and Understand You, and I am Here parying for you to get a Good Job so you can get a Good place and afford my way to come over there to meet you, cause i can't wait to be with You Honey, Please get back to me as soon as you can cause i can't wait to Hear back from you as soon as possible..

Linda

I don't understand your email. I have a good job at the Theatre, so what are you waiting for? I'm looking forward to meeting you, and possibly getting a good look at those sweater puppies, but you said you were going to come over here, right? I hope to see you soon - hold on, gotta go rub one out...ok, I'm back. Do you work or make money? Or do you just email people on the internet everyday?

Greg

Hello Dearest ,

How are you doing?Am very happy to hear back from you.hope you are feeling fine?Love i know you want to meet me for real,but i told you that i need to renew my Passport and Visa...An i ask you when will you get the money for me,becos it cost $245.An i told you have finsih my school,i dont work for now...I only assit my mom in her Little farmland business....An she is even very happy for us....so get back to me and let me know when you are going to get the money send for me,i cant also wait to be with you...I just want you to know if i get overthere i will also like you to get me a Job so i can work an support you with any other things an bills...i will like to stop here now,i will be looking forward to hear back from you soon..

Linda

Hello Linda;

It's nice to hear from you again. What else do you want to know about me? I really don't have too many interesting features, although you may think I am just being modest. I like playing board games - my friends and I are D&D enthusiasts, we also love Pokeman, I used to play Operation alot with the neighbor kids but that turned into this whole big thing - how some people jump to conclusions - anywho, I got out in 18 months so it wasn't that bad. One game I play that I know you would like is called Tickle My Pickle - it's pretty fun. I'm sure you would be good at it. What would your parents think if they knew you were talking with a 40 year old man - would they be mad? That's if they weren't decomposing in the ground as we speak, of course.

Do you currently work? I have a pretty good job - in another 6 years, I'm in line for the Assistant Night Manager position, and that's where the big bucks come rolling in. It's nice because I get all the popcorn I can eat and access to free movies. What more could you ask for?

Tell me what your hopes and dreams are? I would be real interested in hearing that.

Talk to you later,

Greg

Hi greg,

whats going wrong you havnt email so i can know what on....i hope everything is going on fine with you have really miss you...

linda

Hi Linda;

Hope you had a good weekend - mine was ok, didn't spend much time on the computer, played circle jerk with my friends, and basically just enjoyed the nice weather. How is everything with you? What do you do on the weekends there? A little daisy chain action? Just wondering - hold on, gotta go rub one out...ok, I'm back. Is it a nice place there? I gotta go, my mommy is calling me - must be bath time.

Greg

This was the end of the scambait in emails. She saw me in Yahoo and started chatting with me - very funny...

Linda Thomas Chat Log

After this chat, she either blocked me or logged off Yahoo Chat. I immediately had her email address shut down by Yahoo Abuse! Stupid whore...LOL

If you want a pdf version of this scambait, Click Here